SLAVE REBELLION

“It is one thing to praise discipline, and another to submit to it.”

Miguel de Cervantes Saavedra (Spanish writer, author of the masterwork 'El quijote', 1547-1616)









What causes rebellion and testing limits? Does this happen due to lack of contact and consistency? Is rebellion really just a demand for attention? Is it merely a cry for reassurance? What compels a slave to push the boundaries?

i rebel. i cry. i used to "run away". Now i stay and pout. i am waiting for Master to say "ENOUGH!" It is difficult to be a slave in rebellion. Being slave means accepting that aspect of your nature which calls you to serve and submit. So, for me, when i am involved in an insurrection, i am not only rebelling against Master, but also fighting my own True Nature. i want to be owned. i want to be controlled. i truly do live to serve. i need external control and discipline.

So when i am defiant and attempt to grab back control it creates such a internal turmoil that i feel completely lost and terrified. Fear brings the fight or flight response and this slave has moved to the point that flight is no longer an option. So then that leaves fight. i don't think so!! So with no flight, and no fight, what is left??

Passive disobedience and subtle (or not) disrespect. This is not a case of needing corporal punishment. Master made sure, early on, that His slave would never confuse punishment and play time. i have no part of me left that wants to be beaten for disobedience or disrespect. But i do want to feel Him take me, mentally and emotionally. To OWN me in the most literal sense. To show me that i do not ever have to worry that He will allow me to be the one in charge.

Earlier this week on kaya's blog, "Underhishand.com/what-say-you" (can't figure out how to get the link to work!!) there was a fascinating discussion about consent and slavery. The premise being :“slaves cannot meaningfully consent since they have no veto.” Well, that caused a world of brain twisting and for me, deep internal soul searching. 84 comments later, little did i know i would be confronted with an up close and personal example of my belief. Which is: i renew my consent every time i don't run when i might want to leave. Every time i find my knees when i don't feel submissive. When i apologize even though i was "right". When i admit that being "right" is actually WRONG when it makes me disobedient and disrespectful to Master.

HERE IS MY SMALL CONTRIBUTION TO A MOST ENLIGHTENING "CONVERSATION":
Comment by MJ's slave
2008-01-30 13:09:53

kaya,
i have to stop reading here as all your topics have been so good lately i am spending too much time reading what all your readers have to offer!

The thing that resonated with me was penguinskitty’s statement that even though we consider ourselves slaves, we are in fact still consenting every time we accept the ….. whatever it is we do not want.

We are bound by honor and our word, but technically most of us could, in fact, leave if we chose…does that make us not “real” slaves? Maybe not..and i know i could not just walk away…Master would make every reasonable effort to compel me to honor my vow of slavery, but in truth without it being consensual, i don’t think He would wish to own me. Does that not mean W/we have never had that discussion…i am leaving..You shall not…i go..but like a dog to her cage…i don’t go far and i always return and usually it ends up with me saying…Why did You let me go? Do You not want me here to serve You? and Him saying He must know i serve freely, not necessarily gladly ;<( but freely.

Is that not consent by a slave? I don’t know…and again begs the question of what is a slave..i don’t own a car any longer..i don’t own my home, i have no separate monies…so if Master chose to withhold those things from me, He could…but still i could run..and that happens all to often in the vanilla world..and it is abuse…which is not the definition i accept of consensual slavery..which Tanos would see as an oxymoron anyway, i presume!

OK…write something mindless next with sexy pictures!!lol

~s/nik
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Comment by kaya
2008-01-30 13:44:48

You bring up some good points. So if you have no monies of your own, no place to live, no car, no easy access to the things that make actually leaving a viable option, are you enslaved still by choice, or because there is no way out?

I mean, I know that you are enslaved by choice,,, but the reason that those measures work in the vanilla world by abusive partners is precisely because cutting off the means of “escape” further dependence and entrapment. So if that is occuring in an M/s relationship, at some point does it ever cross the line from being just a standard operation of control to a measure of entrapment?

If, we are all in agreement that we are here by choice and bound by honor, why bother with those supposed unnecessary measures of control, if not for the purpose of limiting identity and means of separation?

Tomorrow, I promise pictures and nothing else!..lol (If Master lets me..teehee)
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Comment by MJ's slave
2008-01-30 14:06:46

i make myself sound like a nun!! And in a certain way..that is true…except for the sex thing!! i am the freest i have ever been in my life, bound in slavery!! i sold my home, car, threw out stuff galore…wish i could have dejunked even more would make my role as domestic servant easier…i moved into my Masters home and he provides me with a car so it is not like i am house bound…and i said i have no SEPARATE monies…so not having a mortgage, not having to worry about car repair, insurance…well, you get my drift…i am aware of all of these things..but i was a single parent for a good long while and moved into a home my Master has owned for 20 years…so it does feel like freedom to me!

Could he order me to leave? of course..but it again speaks to the limits thing..when i made the decision to accept Master’s collar, my only decider was knowing the man and the degree of trust and faith i had that His limits would be safe for me. He is not going to tell me to rob a bank, so that always seems ridiculous when people use that..it’s like me saying to my kids when they were little..”if everyone else jumped off the roof does that mean you would too?” As our relationship grows W/we both have had O/our limits pushed together..the level of openness and trust required from both to live as Master/slave is incredible…for anyone able to find that in the vanilla world (and i think some do!) i say “FANTASTIC”!! It just didn’t work out that way for me..

Back to the car and work thing..you had a post not too long ago when you were deciding about going back to work/school that really stuck with me for a long time..popped back up now..about is in truly possible to function so much outside of the home without it eroding the enslavement between the parties..(i paraphrase!)And i do struggle with that..i went back to work right before Christmas and it has been both a plus and a minus…mainly the energy that it takes to function professionally and then to come home and still try to maintain the same level of service…but if He gets up to get His own drink or whatever..it feels like a smack..like He is saying i am not meeting all of his needs..so it is a balancing act for us all. But i do believe i live within the boundaries of consent…so maybe just not slave..to some…

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Master gave me a direct order before He left for His office. The details are not really pertinent, but were regarding an issue that has long been a problem for me. This issue is one W/we felt had been dealt with and just refuses to go away, so W/we both feel extreme frustration (and me anger!)

What He told me to do, i knew with complete certainty would not resolve the matter. i didn't even make a conscious decision NOT to do it. But i, in my "Rebellion", chose not to do it then. i told myself i had every intention of doing it, so that made it "OK" to delay doing as i was told. Well, Master got home after a long and tiring day and i still hadn't gotten around to doing as i was told. Let's just say He was displeased and voiced it in a manner that was completely unlike Him. i immediately did the thing He instructed me to do that morning.

The "Rebellion" began...the "Silent Treatment" in a Master/slave household is intense!! i rattled some pans and didn't clean up from His dinner trying to "make" Him retake control. He ignored me and i steamed. i thought about leaving as i hoped that would make Him stop me, but since i knew it was just for effect and i had vowed to stop the nonsense the last time i did it and didn't want to compound my disobedience with lying, i found a good book (THE GLASS CASTLE, by Jeannette Walls..Excellent) and lost myself in it. Master came upstairs and said "bed time." slave (brat) says: "but i'm not tired!" Master leaves slave to stew in hot sauce.

Now as a parent, i am fully aware of what's going on within me and even why i am doing it. i absolutely am DEMANDING Master take control and, with any luck, discipline me, as i feel very, very guilty that i was disobedient. i need to know He will not allow misbehavior or disrespect. i need to be reminded i am safe and that i can TRUST He will keep me close and continue to control my world. This slave needs discipline and accountability to continue to grow within my slavery.

Lesson learned. Limit tested. Rebellion put down. Is this consensual slavery or Brat Control?? i still need punishment to let go of the guilt. But maybe for a slave, withholding a deserved punishment is punishment enough???