the TAO of Slavery

This slave finds great peace and internal harmony through slavery. i have always felt somewhat "different" from my earliest memories. As i grew and developed, i found myself repressing or denying this internal voice that was in fact my "true nature" speaking to me. i learned to ignore what made me feel truly free and gave meaning to my life and went in pursuit of other things because of shame and guilt over my strong longings.

Society, in the time of my birth, was changing and woman were taught and expected to be strong, independent, outspoken, competitive and successful. These are all worthy traits and characteristics that have served me well in the external world. Unfortunately, they left my internal world adrift and longing for something just out of reach. i was anxious and suffered from internal agitation and couldn't understand why i found it so difficult to sleep and quiet the chatter in my mind.

i longed to be owned and freed of struggle, to know quiet and contentment. These things i find in slavery and submissive service to Master. In bondage, my spirit is in harmony with my nature in it's most elemental form. i quite literally disappear into ONENESS with all. Nothing becomes everything and everything becomes nothing. My mind relaxes to a state of free floating and true bliss. Tight bondage transforms my mind into a near trance like state.

i have been ill since the new year and have recently begun a stressful new endeavor which requires intense training in a classroom setting. Master has seen my struggle with my physical discomfort as well as my attempts to manage the stress of adapting to a new work environment. i have done my best, but have felt my service has been very far from what i know to be my best as well as not maintaining adherence to the tasks which Master has assigned to me as His. My joy is serving Him and His demands seem minimal, considering the ecstasy i achieve through acceptance of my slave nature.

i was hurrying about trying to accomplish many tasks so as to join Master in watching the NFL playoffs. (yes, this slave is a football NUT!) i was not adhering to much of a schedule and found myself spinning, internally. i asked for permission to take a long bath and relax and attend to my personal rituals. When i stepped out of the bath Master drew me to him and set me upon His bed and told me to put my hair up (this is one of my rules that i have a difficult time remembering..my hair is to always be up when at home). He returned His collar to my neck. He used my heavy leather collar and proceeded to place my cuffs on my wrists and ankles. i still didn't think anything out of the ordinary was in store for me as it was almost game time! Well, i was wrong. Master told me to lay across His bed, face down. i did as i was instructed and Master bound me into the hogtie position. He left me there for a bit and i began to drift but was still connected to the NOW as i could hear the pregame on TV! He returned to me and placed a new bit gag in my mouth. That changed my focus as now i could not really turn my face to the side without it being very uncomfortable...so i returned to my semi-float state.

Well, the TV faded from my mind and i was drifting into that tranquil head space that simple bondage achieves for me. i thought i was being given the gift of mental freedom and ultimate relaxation. Master understands my need for this sort of restraint and has been wonderful with supplying me with the control and restriction i crave and my spirit needs to find balance and harmony. He reentered the room and i wasn't sure how long i had been floating and was a little disappointed He was about to free me (greedy slave!) Slave was wrong...i heard the pop of a cap and the next thing i knew Master was sliding His finger into my ass and stretching me open. He had given me a new butt plug for Christmas but i had only used it once so it was a LARGE eye opener when His gently probing finger was replaced with such a large toy. He placed a blindfold over my eyes and twisted the plug a bit and tapped it into place. He patted my bottom and left the room again with no words to me. i thought "oh, well, i guess i won't be seeing the first game." and promptly flew back into my Zen world.

Continued.,.,.,.,